My girls don't play sports

I get asked all the time if my kids play sports.  When I say one is an equestrian, one is a dancer, and my son plays basketball/baseball,  I often get the response, "so the girls don't play sports"  So most people think that dance and equestrian sports are not "sports."  I beg to differ.  My girls are dedicated athletes.  In order to break it down, I have looked into the definition of a sport.

The definition of a sport is one that 

1.  has an element of competition

2.  is in no way harmful to any living creature

3.  does not rely on any "luck" element specifically designed into the sport

4.  can be primarily physical, primarily mind, primarily co-ordination 

By that definition, both my girls participate in "sports."    Both of them compete in their chosen fields.     Dance competitions and horse shows are weekend long events... from sun-up to sundown.   Months of preparation goes into competing in both.   Dance routines are learned and perfected over a 6 month period.   Technique training is done year long.   Dancers are given a 3 minute spot in which to display their skills. The number of dances they are in determines how many times the judges see them.  They are judged separately for each dance. They rely on the opinion of three judges and place based on scores given.  There could be 10 people in their age division or 200.  Even if the dancer's studio doesn't participate in dance competitions, there is always competition in dance in the way of auditions for intensives, spots on company, lead roles, etc.

Horse show season runs December- October.   We usually only compete in the summer at the outdoor shows so our show season is generally shorter.   Training is year round... 6 days a week.. no time off.  It is a partner sport.   You have to work in partnership with an animal to create a great team.  Riders sign up for divisions (fence heights) where you are given one or two chances to jump a course and a flat class.  The opinion of one judge determines your placing.   There are generally 4-20 people in your class.   It is competitive...everything matters... horse, attire, trainer... it all puts together the package that you present to the judge.   And it is completely subjective and extremely competitive.  Your $500 off the track thoroughbred might be up against a $250,000 imported warmblood. 

#2 is tricky...... Not harmful to any living creature.  I am not sure why this is part of the definition, but this one might be debatable to both.    Dance is not designed to be harmful to any living creature.  Like any sports, injuries happen.   When a dancer is en pointe, the pressure on their feet is the equivalent of 3x their body weight on their two big toes.   For a 100 pound dancer, that is 300 pounds of pressure.  Not for the weak for sure.  They say that you can tell a dancer by their feet.   This along with the amount of strength and flexibility they must exhibit all the while appearing graceful makes them some of the world's best athletes.

Equestrians..... there is a potential risk for harm to two creatures.   Neither is usually intentional, but when you are dealing with an animal sometimes it happens.  I have seen riders injured and horses injured.   Horses by rule are prey animals, and this makes them spooky.  They might be the biggest chickens on the planet.   I have seen horses spook, buck and rear tossing the rider to the ground.  My daughter has been thrown from a horse more times than I care to mention, kicked by a horse, bit by a horse, and slammed into a stall wall by a horse.  Spend enough time around a horse, and you will get hurt at some point.  Horses generally injure themselves... they trip, run into things, get into it with another horse, etc.   Some times they get injured.  Any great horse person will try to avoid situations that will injure their horse.  Sometimes accidents happen.

#3.  Does not rely on luck.  Neither of these sports rely on luck. Both rely on training.....Lots of it.  My dancer has been in training since the age of three.   She started off slowly, but for the past 5 years has been training at least 4 days a week.  She is educated in several styles of dance.  She has taken classes from many different teachers with different styles. She has participated in conventions, intensives and workshops.  There is no luck to it... it is training...lots and lots of training.   My equestrian has been riding for 8 years.   For the past 6 years, she has been riding 5-6 days a week.  She will ride 1-3 horses a day.  She has been fortunate enough to ride many different horses.   All horses are not the same.  Each horse will teach you something different.   There are easy horses to ride and difficult horses to ride.  Each experiences makes you a better rider.   Learning what makes each horse go is part of the game.  A good rider can ride just about any horse.  I know a couple of young riders who can get on just about any horse and make it go.

#4... physical, mental and requires coordination.    I think I have pretty much covered the physical aspect of these sports.   Besides the physical there is also the mental and coordination.   Dance is as mental as physical.   You must not only remember choreography but also must recall the exact position and location of your muscles in  order to accurately facilitate a move.   You must push yourself past pain and exhaustion in order to train harder.   And coordination is a given.  In order to execute moves with grace, all your parts must be working in unison.   I will say this.. my dancer sometimes can't walk without falling, but she is pretty graceful on the stage. 

Horses... totally mental.  Get tossed off an animal whose back is about 6 feet in the air.... either go to the hospital or get back on.  Not a choice... you have to get back on.  Also, horses sense fear.  So when you get back on you have to pretend to not be afraid.    Take the same horse over a 4' jump for the first time.. ask it to leap in the air.. completely mental.  (at this point might be more mental for mom watching than the rider)And don't forget your course.  Memorize which jumps you need to go over and in what order.  More than one rider has succumbed to forgetting their course.  And coordination....oodles of it required.  Sometimes I listen to the trainer call out instructions, and I am baffled on how the rider is suppose to do "all that."   Heels down,  left leg, right reign, step out, half halt, push for the distance.   I don't know how they keep it all together.  It is like a foreign language sometimes.

I dare you to challenge that my girls aren't athletes.  I dare you to mess with either one of them   My eldest can boss around an 1,800 pound animal and make it look easy. Did I mention he might be the most stubborn creature on the planet?   You will not be a problem.  My dancer is equally as tough. She has more muscle than most kids her age... and she can be mean (but that has nothing to do with being a dancer)  Her body fat percentage might rival a lot of professional athletes.  Before you question whether something is a sport, maybe you should educate yourself.   I don't understand soccer.  It looks like people running back and forth to me.   But I am not ignorant enough to not think it is not a sport. 

Like with any sport, the amount of time and training you put into it determines how "athletic" and successful you will be.   If you are the school attendance secretary, please don't question me if I take my kids out of school for an athletic event.   You don't question the football team when they have to leave early for a game or are excused for a pep rally.   So unless you are willing to start an equestrian team at the high school or a competitive dance team at the middle school, don't question me.

And for the love of all that is holy, please do not ever say that the horse does all the work.

What year is this?

I just paid $51 for a vinyl record for my daughter.   Yes, you read that correctly...VINYL.   I can't believe in the year 2016 when you can download songs electronically for less than $1.50 that I actually just paid that.   She used a gift card from Christmas....but still.  

This was not a vintage one of a kind record.  This was a pre-ordered soon to be released album.    I am stupefied at this.  Is there some kind of marketing executives out there trying to promote the idea that scratchy vinyl is better than the electronic versions that we get?   The sad part is that the only place she can listed to these vinyl records is in her room.  She can't take them in her car; she can't put it on her phone.   I just don't understand the draw.  I think it is marketing genius.  Market these deep emotional meaningful albums to the teenager because a vinyl record is more likely to touch your soul and give you "the feels."  FYI ... "the feels" is when you are overwrought with emotion... so get your mind out of the gutter.

She said it is a better sound...... REALLY?  I disagree.   We have made so many advances in music delivery that I can't believe that vinyl sounds better.  Wait til it scratches and starts skipping.  See how great that $50 vinyl sounds then.   Maybe she's a naturalist..... maybe it's a purer sound.  Or maybe it is that these new vinyl records come in cool colors.   The vinyl might have a cool retro feel, but I doubt it sounds better.

I am not a music buff.  I like to listen to music but I like the convenience of having it on my iPhone or iPod.   She is a music buff..... she plays an instrument, sings, and truly understands the levels of music.   I just think it's great if it has a good beat and you can dance to it ...lol

Maybe next I should dig out my old stereo with the 8 track player.  Let's face it, my husband is a pack rat, and it just might be somewhere in the basement.   I'm sure pretty soon that is going to be retro and cool.  Maybe Solid Gold will come back on TV... I always wanted to be a solid gold dancer.  

Coincidentally, this album I just purchased is from a band called The 1975.  We are sooo retro in this house :)

Yes, I know there is a parental advisory on this.  My daughter goes to public school.  I am sure she hears worse things in the hallway at school. 

Book Review: Living Dead Girl

This book is with out a doubt disturbing.  The story is told from the point of view of a young girl who was kidnapped and held captive for 5 years.   At the age of 15 she gets "too old" for her captor and must find her replacement.  It's a twisted story of emotional, physical and sexual abuse.  There were many times that I wanted to put it down and walk away.  But more than anything I wanted this little girl to escape.   And while there is resolution at the end, it is a bit unclear as to what that resolution is.  

This book was a quick read.  The short chapters, the riveting story line, and the need for this little girl to be ok is what drove me through it.  As a mom of 2 girls, I was haunted by how easy it was for the captor to take the girl and what lengths he took to keep her from leaving.  I was also disturbed by the people around this pair who felt there was something not quite right, but did nothing about it.   

If you are looking for an uplifting book, this is not it.  But it is a story that is well told and thought provoking.  It is one of those that is not likely to leave you for awhile.

Book Review

To Be Sung Underwater by Tom McNeal

I have been choosing most of my books lately by stuff I see on Pintrest.... Covers draw me in, titles draw me in.  I am trying to balance YA lit, fiction and classic literature.  I am failing a little in the classic lit.   Maybe if I did young adult classic lit I could ease back into it.  Some of my favorite books of all time are the classics. 

This book would fall under the genre modern fiction.  It is essentially a love story, but not in the traditional sense.  It is divided into three sections.  During the first section the story flip flops between modern day and the past.  The whole time I kept asking myself, "Where are they going with this?"  It does become clear by the end but it takes about a third of the book to get there.

The story depicts the life of Judith  ranging from a young girl to an adult woman with a child of her own.  There are parts of the story that I love her character.  She is strong and confident and sure of herself.  Then there are parts of the story that I wonder if she is on the verge on completely loosing it.  It is during these parts that I don't like her character.  But I think that is unfair.  Because as a woman I think we all go through spurts of both strength and weakness.  I think that Judith was a better person because of her choices in the end.   Yet these choices at the time seem crazy and irrational.  And while I would never condone that type of behavior I think for her is was almost necessary.  She was losing herself in her current situation.  Midlife crisis...maybe 

This novel brings up the question of returning to your first love.   One tries unsuccessfully to forget it and the other can never forget.  First love is not always that tragic but it does teach us a lot.

I would recommend this book... it is a quick light read.  It will make you think and feel.  It is not a literary masterpiece but I liked it all the same.

TBH

TBH......Another one of those fine teenage acronyms that means "to be honest."   Teenagers all over the world are posting on social media:  Like for a TBH.   Once you like, you are at the mercy of your friend for a "totally" honest comment about you as a person.   People who like these posts aren't really doing it for an honest assessment.  They are looking for glorified pat on the back when their honest friend tells them how fabulous they are.   I have accidentally "liked" a picture before reading the caption and been on the receiving end of a TBH twice.  LOL!  I was totally embarrassed as though I was fishing for compliments.  It was kind of like posting a selfie.  Clearly you aren't going to post a selfie that sets you up to be unattractive or ask for a TBH from someone who doesn't like you.


This use of social media teeters precariously on making our children victims to society's perception of "belonging."  It is a dangerous tool.  And while most of the TBH posts I have seen have been positive, it does support the idea of what others think of you is important.  The reason most adults don't do TBH is that we don't need other to tell us who we are.  Most of us are comfortable enough in our own skin to not care what others thing.  Or maybe we don't want to look like we are fishing for compliments.  Adults have become more devious in their search for affirmation: selfies and TBH's are just to obvious.  We would rather stoop to vague Facebook posts that essentially get us the same response.

The urge to be accepted weighs on both sides... the person giving the honest statement and the person receiving the honest statement.  The person in charge of giving the TBH has all the power.   Yet giving a totally honest and maybe unsavory TBH might be as socially damaging as those receiving it.  Which is why these things lack honesty.  The positive point in all this is that we have trained our kids to say something nice or don't say anything at all.  I think my point is not that I want kids to tear each other down but that I don't think they should be spending so much time seeking approval from social media.
 
I think I should do a TBH post for two reasons..... 1.  I am extremely opinionated.   2.  My TBH's would be honest and probably pretty entertaining.

Most likely I would post something nice but then something honest that might be seen as offensive.  For example:  a TBH I would write about myself (as not to offend anyone who hasn't asked for it)

TBH:  You are a lot of fun to hang around with but your patience for stupidity is microscopic and you are horribly opinionated.  Also, the fat cells that you use to push the wrinkles out and keep you looking youthful might be a little overwhelming... lay off the cookies. 

Not sure I would be offended by what is completely true.  But maybe someone would say  something about me that I wasn't aware of.... would I be defensive or hurt?  Might depend on who it is coming from.

Who would be secure enough to ask for a TBH?   Who would still be my friend when it was said and done.  Funny to contemplate, right.

TBH my friends are my friends for a reason.  I accept them... the good, the bad and the ugly 

Book Review Painted Girls

First book of the year finished..... Technically I started it last year, but I finished it this morning.    The Painted Girls by Cathy Marie Buchanan was my first novel of the year.  

The basis of the novel is set around the paintings of Edgar Degas.  I picked up this book because I enjoy Degas' paintings of the dancers.   This novel follows three impoverished girls through their struggles to earn a living in the ballet in France.  In addition, it follows the story of unsolved murders during this time.

What struck me the most about this novel was the extreme poverty that these girls had to endure.  The direct juxtaposition between the poverty and the beauty of the paintings is what made this novel an unexpected pleasure.  I'm not sure of the validity of the story, but it was this direct difference that drew me in.  I would have assumed the ballet girls to be rich spoiled girls (maybe because I know how much I spend on dance for my daughter.)    These girls were anything but.  They scraped by and depended on "charity" of others.  The three sisters were well thought out characters each with  distinct personalities.  These characteristics reminded me of the differences in my own children which made the characters believable.

I also enjoyed the switch in perspective.  The story is alternately told by the two eldest sisters whose lives take very different paths.  This along with the occasional newspaper clipping thrown in to push forward the plot regarding the unsolved murders makes the novel a quick read.  The authors easy style and short chapters makes it a book you can easily pick up and put down without losing any of the content.

There is nothing I dislike more than a crappy ending.  Fortunately, you don't get it with this book.  The author neatly ties up loose ends with a bit of a flash forward.  Some might say too neatly, but I rather liked it.

While this book does not make my all time "must read" list, I would recommend it for anyone who is looking for a quick read with a historical perspective.  Please let me know if you end up reading it, and what you think.