You pick an activity for your kids then you choose a place to train for that activity. You choose carefully, researching the best places to fit your needs. These places become a home away from home for your children. You become invested in what they are teaching, their philosophies, their people and their program. You may spend years developing relationships with the people who run the program and the other parents who attend the programs. What happens when the rug gets pulled out from under your feet? Whether by choice or by circumstance, there is a time for you to move on.
It has happened to me twice. Twice I have been ensconced myself in programs, made friends with parents, and entrusted these programs with the growth of my children. And twice I have had to find alternatives: once by choice and once by circumstance but both abruptly. Whether you are prepared for this or not, it is a hard transition. Change is scary.
I have some friends at the studio where my daughter used to dance who are going through this very thing as we speak. Their studio is closing at the end of the year. They have had many months to ponder this and to lament about what they are going to do. I think this might be worse than it ending abruptly like it did for me. I am here to assure them that there is a silver lining. It will be ok. It might be better than ok... it might just be the change you need.
Their situation is similar to one that I faced when the horse barn where my daughter rode closed. And it did so rather quickly. I had only a short time not only to find a place that would further nurture my daughter but would also take quality care of my horse. I was panicky. The place I boarded my horse was a great situation. The trainer understood and liked my daughter. She taught great horsemanship and equitation. We would have stayed there had the barn not closed. Now 5 years later, I am happy that the decision was made for me. She needed something new/something different. The new trainer had new things to teach my daughter. It was a slightly larger barn with a slightly different philosophy. My daughter had more opportunities to ride a wide variety of horses. The new trainer also cares for my daughter very much. We are still in contact with our old trainer and old friends, but we have made new friends along the way. Like the dance world, the horse world is pretty small. My horse is healthy and happy. She has settled and become a steady school horse. It was the change we needed that we didn't know we needed. It was the silver lining.
I think one important part of this message is that it is essential to get instruction from more than one person. No one trainer can know everything. But if you find a couple of good ones, then you take the best from both and turn it into your own knowledge. I also found this also to be true when I left the old studio and took my daughter to several different studios with different philosophies. I discovered what I liked and didn't like. She developed her own style. Both upheavals were ultimately good for the growth of my children.
Another thing I know people worry about is losing touch with their friends. Your friends are your friends no matter if you ride/dance together. If your friendship is based on participating in the same program, then you probably aren't really friends. I do keep in touch with people my kids used to ride/dance with.... and I have gained new friends along the way.
Although loss and change is scary, it is very likely that you will look back in a year and wonder what all the fuss was about. You will cherish the memories and be well on your way to making more. You will settle into a new normal and your child will adapt in their own way.... maybe easier than you will. You just might find things about your new situation are better and there might be things you miss. I know in both cases, my stress level was greatly reduced. Once I got over the shock of the change, I was able to embrace it and enjoy the new situation.
Remember to keep yourself open to finding that silver lining.
