Radio City Music Hall

I have recently embarked down the road of helping my eldest daughter search for a college that will meet all her needs.  I felt like I had a great advantage because I went to college.... my husband went to college.  We were "college educated."  Boy was I mistaken......Things have definitely changed.  I think before I go into what is entailed there, I want you to understand where we are coming from.

First of all, whenever anyone asks what Gabby's plans are for college she gets this deer in the headlights look which quickly turns into stink eye......then a complete shut down.  Gabby and I have a really great relationship.  So I asked her what the anti-college attitude was about.  Her answer really surprised me.  She is excited to go to college.  But she says when people start to ask her about her future plans, she gets really stressed. 

I have read a study that talks about the stress of picking a college.  As a photographer, I always ask what my senior's plans are.    This is not to put them on the spot but because I am interested and curious.  I tried to explain this to Gabby, but she has another perspective entirely. 

Gabby is a highly intelligent successful student who harbors a passion for all things equine and music.   She knows that whatever she ends up doing with her life, these two things need to be involved.  We have discussed at length that majoring in equine studies is not enough to spend college tuition on.  But we have come up with some compromises.... equine business management or a major in business with a minor in equine studies.  Half of her frustration is that when she mentions that she wants to go into horses, people try to talk her out of it or tell her it is ridiculous.

Gabby has had a passion for animals since she was born.  I am not just talking an interest.  She has read everything about lizards, dogs, and horses that has been published.  Maybe I exaggerate, but she is really knowledgeable about all these things.  So why are people so quick to rain on her parade?  She has taken a logical approach to using her passion (horses) and making it marketable (business).   Her father and I agree, we would rather see her take this route than be stuck in a high paying career that makes her miserable.

The horse industry is not easy.  It is hard emotionally and physically.  But she has never been scared of hard work.  Most people assume she wants to be a veterinarian.   She does not want to spend her days taking care of and sometimes having to put down sick horses.  She wants to educate...people, horses, etc. 

So Gabby and I have come up with a strategy that will help when people start to needle her about her future plans.   I did what any good mother would do.   I told her to LIE!!!!!!  Make up something good  that will leave people baffled and maybe make them walk away.   So if you ask Gabby what her plans are, you are likely to get this answer:   Gabby is going to New York to be a Rockette.  To make it a believable we looked it up, and yes she meets the height requirement.  Never mind that she has only had one dance class her whole life. 

Keep this in mind when asking kids about their future.  It is stressful, especially for those people pleasers like Gabby.

up next.......the actual college search process and what I have learned.....