Light my Christmas

For those of you who have been friends with me for years, this diatribe will be nothing new.  Every year I lament about the tackiness of the outside holiday lights.  First let me start with a disclaimer:  This is my opinion.... you are entitled to yours.  Mine isn't the "right" one, but it is mine.  So if you enjoy tacky holiday lights or you don't think they are tacky...have at it! Do what makes you happy.

My girls and I often joke about creating a report card system for people's outside holiday display.  We wonder how offended people would be if we actually left them a written report card of what their holiday lights deserve.  We have never had the chutzpah to do this.  Instead, we drive around discussing the virtues or lack of on each Christmas display.  We know this isn't a Christian thing to do, but alas we have a lot of fun.  

My biggest pet peeve and the easiest way to get a failing grade is to display a plastic light-up nativity.   I mean, really.   Did Jesus give up his life so that we could mold him out of plastic and stick a light bulb up his heiny?  It seems almost sacrilegious.  It is down right scary and not even remotely cute.  I have seen Nativity done right.  A wood carving with a simple white light shining on it is very pretty.    I did have someone tell me once that their plastic nativity caught on fire..... think about the horrors of seeing baby Jesus go up in flames.  

Plastic light up displays in general will drop your grade.  You can get no grade above a D if you have any plastic light up displays.  They fade, and they are tacky.

Next in line are blow-up displays.  During the day they lie on the lawn like detainees at the Island of Misfit toys.  They come to life at night taking over a large portion of the yard.  They are huge and overbearing.  While I do like them slightly more than plastic.... they drop your grade to a C.

Let's talk trees...... please no floating trees.  Either you are going to take the time and energy to do it right or don't do it at all   One strand of lights flung around the middle of the tree looks ridiculous.  In the dead of night you can't even tell it is a tree.   It just looks like a strand of floating lights.  This will drop your grade one letter.

Ok.... on the subjects of lights... there is truly only one way to do holiday lights... white lights.  Either the warm white lights or the LED (bluish) white  lights are the way to go, but they should never be combined.  All white lights will give you the best grade possible provided you haven't perpetrated one of the other offenses.    Some times white light mixed with another solid color are pretty, assuming the pattern in consistent and symmetrical.  All colored lights are ok as long as they are ALL THE SAME!!!!!!!!  Mix and match when it comes to holiday lights is NOT ok.  Maybe lights should come like Garanimals did.... with tags that tell you what can be mixed.  

I will provide some examples and their scores for your viewing enjoyment and so that you can further understand where I am coming from.

Exhibit A:  Grade: A  Simple white lights and a classy wooden nativity

Exhibit B:  Grade:  F  Regular white lights combined with LED lights and color lights are a hot mess.   And given there is a Jesus with a bulb up his heiny... automatic F

Light up Jesus was hard to photograph

Exhibit C:  A simple and pretty

Exhibit D:  Grade: A... I  know you are saying blue lights, LED lights and white lights.... what!  But I believe that this family celebrates both Hanukkah and Christmas and since both are represented, it deserves an A... plus those trees are fantastic. 

Exhibit E:  Grade C.... not horrible... but the floating tree  :(

I would never ostracize someone for bad lighting.  I do this all in good fun.  It is the opinion of one person.. my opinion.  If you enjoy your plastic Jesus then let that bring Joy to you this holiday.

I bet you are all wondering what the outside of my house looks like....

There are no lights.... zero....  LOL