We are all guilty of it.... the suburban pissing contest.
No matter what your kids do, we all seem to try to do more and be more to try and get ahead. It could be school, activities, or physical growth. We all seem to be in this race to have our kids be the smartest, most talented, and biggest. And social media is there to help us exacerbate this.
I'm guilty of it. I love to go to social media when my kids do something to impress me to let the world know how AWESOME they are. I am also the first one to talk about some of the things that they do that aren't so awesome. No matter how much we want our kids to be the biggest and baddest, growing up is all about making mistakes and learning from them. These need to be celebrated also. Some times I refer to them as the "you're so pretty" moments. It is those moments when they do something ridiculous that at least they can count on their cuteness to keep them out of trouble.
My kids are not perfect. They are perfectly imperfect. They try hard when they want to and slack off when they want to. They could be better students, dancers, riders, ball players, etc. But they are still only just kids. If they don't learn things by trial and error, then how will they learn. By allowing them to make these mistakes and by celebrating those mistakes, I am preparing them for adulthood. Because even in adulthood, we are not perfect. My kids handle failure pretty well. They learn from it and move on. They are not prone to melt downs. They take their experiences and use that to work harder next time.
My job as a mom is to guide them and help them recover from those mistakes. My job is not to make sure that everything is perfect. My kids are all involved in activities that can be expensive. I have never given them the best of everything. My eldest, in particular, is an equestrian. I am not in a position to throw around a lot of money to give her the best of everything. She works hard to work some of those things off to get what she needs. Would she like to do more, be more? I am sure. But my budget only allows for so much. She has earned herself a reputation for being a good rider and hard worker. It has not all been rosy. Sometimes she puts in a miraculous ride; sometimes it is a train wreck. But she has worked through the tough times. And when she heads to college next year I am sure that she will be prepared for whatever comes at her.
My other daughter is a dancer. She has some natural talent that could make her fantastic dancer. But she lacks the passion for it. So she does what she can with the amount of effort she wants to put into it and has learned that you get out of it what you put into it. She is far more focused on her studies which don't come as natural to her. Don't get me wrong, she's smart but, she also works hard.
My son is an athlete. Not the best athlete you have ever seen, but he's ok. He has been on a baseball team that has not fared very well this year. In truth, their record SUCKS..... But he is an excellent team mate. He's positive and supportive despite the losing records. As a matter of fact all of his team are this way. Because so few of them go on to be professional athletes, they are learning a far more valuable lesson here. They are learning how to be great team players. Occasionally, he will get down on himself, but then we talk about how to go out and make it better.
So if you are in the great suburban pissing contest, ask yourself.... Does your kid need to appear better than everyone or do you just want your kid to be the best they can be? How do we learn if not from our mistakes? Don't be afraid to brag about the awesome and not so awesome things your kids do and say. It happens to all of us...... 2 steps forward... 3 steps back... We all have ups and downs in life. It's not human not to. By owning up to the mistakes, we are owning up to our humanity and sharing a little bit of that with our social media "friends"
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